For better or worse, I resigned on Monday.

It may not be effective til the end of May, but this is the first major step completed.

No one has yelled at me or cried. Those who dislike me have been polite and considerate. And most importantly, my friends still love me. As someone who tends to loose all friendships when embarking upon life-altering changes, I cannot describe to you how much this terrified me.

I still worry about things falling apart after I’m gone but realize that I have to let it go (despite what the deep-seated, gnawing fear in my tummy tells me). However, I’m such an all or nothing person that I will never persue my dreams if I don’t get out of this office.

So, what now? It would be lying if I said I had no clue. I have so many ideas that it’s becoming a struggle to narrow it down to just a few to start with. I see some serious housecleaning  (both physical and mental) in my near future. I also think some serious redevelopment of old skills are going to be necessary. Eventually, I hope this poor little nonexistent blog will become a part of that.

We’ll see.

Ok. So, I just took a second job-a research assistantship, no less. I must be on crack.

This means that I’m very possibly going to end up driving myself stark, raving, running-down-the-street-with-my undies-on-my-head, looney instead of finishing up school like a good girlie so that I can:

• graduate
• stop spending my measly paycheck entirely on tuition
• quit my job
• go back to being a fabulously interesting jeweler
• and generally attempt to make our lives more meaningful

Instead, I feel like I’m being sucked back into the hell. Why did I choose information science in the first place when I know that sitting in front of a computer all day will eventually kill me? There are so many answers to that question.

Todd’s responses normally run along the lines of

• comforting: you’re good at it dear
• practical: we’re in a recession, do one to afford the other
• scary but true: we could walk onto any campus and be the psycho, administrative power couple (i.e., we’re both artists and intelligent troublemakers)

The reality is, I had to come up with a Plan B once I realized there was no way in Hades that I could make a living as an artisan jeweler while living 2 hours from what is essentially slave labor. Starting a business with no immediate cash and in the middle of a recession probably isn’t my smartest idea. Finally, there are times when information science, particularly the control and dissemination of information in society, really does fascinate me. (This said after I can no longer read the text on the computer screen because my eyes refuse to focus.)

Anyway, I decided to splurge on these.

Image from Weather Underground